So, this site, and adjoining podcast has been quite a journey to get
up and running. I am going to be quite blunt, and say that I have
faced spiritual attack, after spiritual attack. I wish to point to one
of them now that happened just recently, and explain how I dealt with
it, so that it can be a help to someone who may be fighting their own
battles.
I had ben needing to record an episode and I sat down to do so I had
been struggling all day as it was, because my mind was not in a good
place, but when I sat down to record, this feeling intensified about
10 fold.
This showed itself by a feeling like I had a pit of snakes writhing in
my gut, a complete fear, that I could not shake. Eating was out of the
question, and all I could do was pray. I began to sweat, and my head
was pounding. It was in this condition that I was attempting to
record. So, I did the following.
First, I reminded myself that God has not given me a spirit of fear,
but of power love and a sound mind.
Second, I reached out to a good friend, and asked them to pray,
explained the situation.
I was able to get the recording done, but the feelings did not lift.
In fact, they continued in to the next morning, when I in my morning
devotionals came across this psalm, 91, where it talks about not
fearing the night terrors at night, or the arrows that fly at you
during the day.
This psalm went on to explain that it is God who covers you under his
wing. It was after this reading, and some prayer, that this thing this
fear finally lifted.
What you ask was I afraid of, of launching this very site which was
odd in itself given the fact that I am an entrepreneur who builds
websites for a living.
I write and explain my battle with fear, and all that goes with it, in
hopes that someone hear can read this, and understand two truths,
first, in the Bible the Lord commands that we fear not, or do not be
afraid. Second, that greater is he the Lord Jesus than he who is in
the world.
While I didn’t realize it then, I know that God is still good, even
when I am afraid… The fact is, God is bigger than fear, emotion,
everything. Sometimes you have to remind yourself of that, and then
take authority over these things.
Is this helpful to you? Do you have any thoughts? Please leave them in
the comments.
God bless, Teresa Blaes
Oh Lord my god,
How majestic is your name.
That By your hand,
the stars are set in place.
yetWho am I, that you would think of me?
a speck on the page of eternity.
The heavens declear your glory
And the rocks would cry out
Were I not to praise
But who am I,
That you would think of me?
A speck on the page of eternity.
I am chosen in you,
loved by you,
called for you,
I am yours..
Psalm 8
Relinquish your bitterness,
Else you’ll be drinking the poison
meant for your enemy
Don’t be the next victim,
eaten alive
stop the chatter inside your head,
else you’ll be disconnected
out of focus,
needing to be realigned
for too long ,
you’ve awakened
many a sleepless night,
ever chasing after
the reason why
yet take a moment,
a step back,
was it grace that erased your past?
And mercy that saw you repentant,
Can you forgive them?
That doesn’t mean acceptance,
Or justifying their crime.
God will bring justice
In due time
Christmas eve, shrouded in gray.
Blinded by clouds, by fog, by haze.
Longing to take a final trip.
Are my reservations made?
Or should I look for a home of eternal estate?
No bed is empty in this hotel of dreams,
all signs say no occupancy.
Am I awake or am I asleep?
Or perhaps this life I lead is a distant dream.
A shadow of long forgotten memories.
Keep everyone at bay
While I rest my head and deceive
Myself into believing that I’m OK.
Don’t come too close,
I won’t let you into my estate.
I’ve tasted loneliness,
and seen all the world gives.
make me question why I live.
So tonight, this ends.
Take a drink, Soon it will all be over.
Burden lifted from my shoulders.
But then your presence enters,
The hand I cannot lift.
voice so clear, “you won’t do this.”
So I drop to the floor, tears flow, broken beyond repair.
And in this moment, you meet me there.
In this place I lay
Time has no meaning.
I cry to you, cursing my twisted realities.
You just hold me close,
whispering “child I know.
You are a light to your family,
Keep the faith, and you will see.
Continue the race,
Keep your eyes on me.”
Come home to find you’ve been arrested
What for, I don’t know
suck it up deal with it. bury it deep
Truth is I can’t handle this.
cast a weathered glance up to the sky,
Lash out in anger, demanding why?
Yet the heavens are silent,
go to school everything’s fine.
There I’m a different person,
living a different life.
time goes by your’re seated on your bed.
I don’t know what’s wrong, your unresponsive.
call for help the ambulance arrived,
all of a sudden, your’re just fine.
They leave, they think I lied,
now your’re angry at me.
Few months pass by, and its time to graduate.
But you never made it, too sick or was I mistaken?
I scanned all the faces. You weren’t there in the crowd.
I received all the accolades when they called my name..
offering my thanks to the people gathered with a hollow smile
But where were you?
I’m dying inside.
Just wanted a taste of normality
It was not meant to be
Yet someone was watching,
someone was smiling, and crying with me.
My friend of friends, and my king of kings..
How can I be angry at my only hope?
Raise my fist in protest
When my history shows
Many points I should have died
But his intervention
Is now my reason for being
A child of the king,
Oh friend, how can I make you understand?
God is not to blame for your tragedies..
He did not cause them,
Evil was not his design
He didn’t author wickedness,
His plans are not mine.
How can you still be angry when you consider who he is ?
Then consider this,
torture, mockery, nails driven through wrists,
All for the sake of all consuming love.
But I do not understand his ways,
where was he when?
His answer, right beside you, even in the deepest of pits.
Careful now as you step inside
The war zone that is my mind
Avoid the craters and the pits
And the shrapnel lodged within.
Embedded deep where none can see
The casualties remain
Apply a tourniquet stop the bleeding.
A healing hand beckons
But I can’t, or do I fear revealing
The cause behind the scenes of these weaponized memories.
can I truly be free?
the choice remains with me.
Set your eyes to the broken sky
and say good bye to those that said that you would never rise.
For there is no coming in the blink of an eye.
2000 years we’ve waited,
for that heavenly horn to sound
There is no hope for divine restoration.
still you believe,
Hoping that this world is not all there is to see.
Waiting for the trump to sound,
and his voice to call you home
Play for keeps, lose everything.
Force a grin, aim to please,
While inward peace remains elusive.
Now the rules have changed
Stop the presses, Lets rearrange,
time to remove pleasure’s stain
Breathe anew heavenly thought,
For eternal purpose we have been bought.
No longer does sin rule over man,
Rather it’s covered by the sacrificed lamb.
You see the sun shining in the sky,
And you give me a word of thanks,
When it crosses your mind,
Yet somehow it seems,
I am forgotten when it comes to the little things.
The air I gave you to breathe,
The water I gave you to drink.
You get caught up in the things themselves,
And forget to remember me.
So I sent my prophets of old,
Bringing forth my cry,
That you may come home.
Oh my people, how long, how long?
Yet still you drove them away,
Leaving me out in the cold.
So at long last,
the time had finally come.
In one final act of desperation,
I sent to you my very own son,
Hoping you would heed his words,
And your hearts would be won.
Instead he was beaten and flogged,
Unrecognizable, he was nailed to a cross.
Hung between two thieves,
It was there that the whole world saw,
my final hearts plea, my final call.