Lifeline Safety Rope


Close to the edge of destruction. I felt my life was coming to a horrible close. Then just as I thought I was going under for the last time. I saw a lifeline safety rope begin to float toward me. I wondered if I would grab hold and like many other times, it would slip right through my hands. Filled with fear, doubt, and hopelessness I reached out and grabbed hold anyway.

This time something was different. I could feel life on the other end of that lifeline safety rope. As I felt myself begin to be pulled in the direction of hope and healing I prayed OH GOD please let this be you. As my head began to come up above the water I could feel the warmth of His Holy Spirit shining on my face and for the first time in a long time I was able to breathe.

I’m not quite sure how I got here, but here I am now standing safely on the shore. I can actually see a future before me now without the darkness overshadowing any real hope and peace.

Under the watchful eye of my protective rescuer, I am beginning now to walk out into a new and wonderful life.

lifeline safety rope

I’m not sure how it’s happening, but I’m being transformed along the way “as I go”. It’s like watching a diamond being carved from a stone. I see myself, this new creation stepping from the rubble. Pieces of the old man I was, are falling by the wayside and what is left is all that is beautiful and whole, sculpted by the Master.

The furnace of fire I was in somehow did not destroy me. I was turned in that fire and I was held inside as it burned I thought it would consume me. All the things that kept me captive were all that burned away. The real me; this new creation remained intact and survived the fire. I emerged pure and true and hardened to difficult times.

Things that once caused me great pain and struggle, I can now easily walk around and put behind me.

I understand now as I move through this land of victory that the one thing I can’t do is make it alone. I ask My Father God to keep me by His Holy Spirit every day and I surrender myself completely to him.

I see through different eyes now and I hear through different ears. Not much around me even seems familiar; no longer shrouded in the dark shadows of despair.

This gift I have received I could never have earned. It was strong enough to pierce the darkness of a thousand heartbreaks. It was filled with enough love to break through the walls of self-loathing and hate. It was precious enough to pay the ransom for my freedom. It was bought with a price that will keep me the rest of my days and beyond.

Darkness still comes, but now with this wonderful light inside me, the Son is always shining.

The Holy Spirit brought to my mind today the picture of Jesus holding a little lamb in His arms.
I kept that image in my mind all day.
So many times, in my life I have felt like that little lamb when the LORD has had to carry me through the difficult times in my life.
I remember well the suffering. I remember the pain and emptiness of the darkest hours.
I was often ashamed of being the broken and weak one, when others seemed so strong.
I questioned God at times asking if He was punishing me for something. I could not understand why He did not treat me more gently, and why I seemed to be given pain instead of peace when I needed it most.
As I thought on this, God began to speak to my heart:
“The little lamb is you Todd! You were wounded, hurting and suffering. I took you up into My arms and bound up your wounds.
I soothed you with My Healing Hands. I held you so close to me while you were crying out in pain.
You didn’t always know I was there, but I held you with such tender care.
I gave you strength and love through it all. And so many times, I just loved holding you tightly because I wanted you near me.
It is only my injured lambs that I strengthen like this. For the sleek and strong I will destroy.
The weak ones, I have laid down my life for. Do not ever be ashamed to be the weak one, for my strength is made perfect in your weakness.
I have held you right next to my heart as we walked through all the trials. So close you could hear my heartbeat and know my voice when you stilled yourself to listen.
So close that you would always know my voice, and I will always know you. Nothing can separate you from me now.
I have always been your good shepherd.
I sit at the center of the throne where I will be your shepherd throughout all eternity.
———– Lord I thank you tonight! ———–
“Thank you for allowing me to see that being the broken one, made me Your treasure. I am so thankful that I needed you Lord more than others needed you.
Your strength has truly been made perfect in my weakness, and you kept me through it all. You are the Holy Lamb of God! You are worthy of all praise my good shepherd, and I give you all the glory!”

Dear God, Why All this Pain

Have you ever wondered why God who is a loving Father, would allow his children to suffer such horrific pain and trials?
Looking back at my own “horrific suffering” in life I realize that when things really hit bottom for me, a lot of things were lost.
Some of the last things I was willing to let go of, were the things that crippled me the most. My anxiety, depression and insecurities I held onto with a death grip.
I still don’t quite understand why I had to get to the point of losing everything to allow God to burn these toxic demons of torment away.
When you can’t just “get over” something yourself, then God will do what it takes to break you free. Even if it means that must come through great suffering.
This is why sometimes God’s way of loving us, can feel a bit like child abuse from the human minds limited perspective.
Breaking me “down to nothing” was the best thing God ever let happen to me. God knew that this was what it would take for me to completely let go of this horrible imitation of life I had become trapped in. He loved me enough to watch me suffer.
As I did let go and received my deliverance, God began a reconstruction process in me. I was for the first time in my life free from all anxiety, and finally comfortable in my own skin.
God had allowed the fiery furnace of my trials to burn off all the chains the enemy had imprisoned me with. And from that furnace I stepped out the person God always intended for me to be.
So if you are in the midst of great suffering now, let me give you a glimpse of your future. God has saved the best for last for you! What the enemy has been whispering in your ear is a lie.
Your faith in Christ Jesus is going to bring you through to victory. God is there with you now. Even in your suffering God is taking care of you with such tender care.
God never has and never will stop loving you. The hurt you endure will not last forever. God has already assigned a limit to your suffering and your victory is just in sight!
Even when you no longer have the ability to believe for yourself, God has his arms around you and will carry you. Nothing will keep you from the wonderful plan God has for your life if you will just hold on to him! He is big enough to bring you out of the impossible situation you are in now.
If you could only see your future like God sees your future, a sweet soothing calm would flood your heart and mind. I claim this peace for you right now in the name of Jesus Christ and make and application of the blood of Jesus Christ upon you and around you for protection and healing.
God is in the process of doing something amazing and beautiful through your pain. You just wait and see it will be well worth the journey. He is a loving Father and He will never let you down.



Thinking about my dear mother who passed at only 42.  She was such a precious angel of a person and had such a close walk with the Lord.  She always loved the underdog and there was not a pretentious bone in her body.  I remember hearing Mom pray sometimes her prayer time got pretty loud and could be heard for quite a way off.  She would pray in the spirit and in the understanding for hours and sometimes into the wee hours of the morning.

I had to share this and the launching pad for this writing because much of what I will share here is coming from my love for her and the prompting of the Holy Spirit.  I struggled for years that someone like my Mom would meet such a tragic end and since she took her own life I had a long road ahead of me trying to reconcile all that with God.

Decades have passed and God was good to me and has helped me and my family to heal a great deal.  Now that the dust has settled and I am in a place where I can ask God out of a sincere wish to understand how this happened and where he was during her midnight hour and could it have been a different outcome.

After all these years in being in so much better of a place in my own life I felt led to seek God for these answers “one more time”.  I have to honestly say though that deep down in I thought I might come up with nothing as I had so many times before.  I thought to myself “God if you can enlighten me on this it would be a much-appreciated revelation”.  I was at this point in my life with the prospect that I might never have an answer until I have made it home as I surrendered this to God long ago.

As I prayed God began to show me a bridge.  The shape of the bridge was arched so the highest point was in the center.  The bridge didn’t even span more than just a few feet and then it stopped with the edge just hanging out into mid-air.  I also noticed there wasn’t any water under it and no people or life was around just emptiness and desolation. I asked God why the bridge was unfinished and why the barren landscape.

The Holy Spirit spoke to me that this represented our journey on earth toward heaven.  I let this sink in for a minute and He continued to give me more insight.  When Jesus died on the cross, hung his head and cried with a loud voice “It is finished” that bridge to heaven for us was completed.  I could see in the spirit and the Lord died and the ground shook and the rocks split the other half of that bridge was being lifted, welded and locked into place.  For all eternity, this bridge would stand for those that would believe on Jesus Christ to have free passage.

Then the Holy Spirit showed me the reason for the incomplete bridge.  This was the view that we often get during our life’s struggles working our way home.  You may remember these struggles starting in your early childhood like my mother and the suffering is so bad the bridge to heaven just seems to stop in mid-air.  Or maybe like me you have it hit you hard in early adulthood and years of repressed anxiety and depression leave you lying on the broken edge of that bridge reaching out into the darkness.  No matter what the defining moment like this looks like it does have the common landscape of emptiness and desolation.

This the Lord said to me is the disconnect that brings life to a breaking point for so many of my children.  When they become unable to see that the bridge is completed then it appears to them to be the end and no hope is in sight to make it across.

I ask God if there was a way we could not lose sight of the “completed bridge” to the other side so we would not lose hope and give up.  He told me that I wasn’t seeing the full perspective of the bridge and my question what short sighted.  He said the journey of our lives is not measured in years and not matter if we live 42 years or 102 years God can still complete the beautiful story of our lives.

Then He reminded me of this passage of scripture: “See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.”

He said that even when we grow so weary that we are no longer able to see Him, He never takes his eyes off of us.  In fact, He has engraved our very names on the palm of His hand before we ever leave the womb.

I started to understand what God was saying to me.  No matter how long one of his children live, or how their journey ends they are still standing firmly on the bridge that is connected all the way from one side to the other.

The bridge is hard for us to see when we have to look beyond what we are going through in our life “right now”.  If you are in high school and things are going bad the bridge doesn’t seem to go any farther than that semester.  If you are in a bad relationship the bridge seems to drop off if that relationship should ever end.  So many times, in our lives we are not going to be able to feel or see the connection of the bridge to the other side.

I don’t know if understanding this would have changed my Mom’s story or not.  Even if with this knowledge her story may have been the same. I understand now more than ever though that God had Mom’s name engraved in his palm and never let her down.  He completed the beautiful picture of her life as only He could do.  I don’t want to take a bad moment or even a few rough years and make that the central focus.  I see now that God puts the focus on the picture as a whole and the way that he frames the life stories for each of his children always ends up a true work of art.

I ask that if you are reading this and find yourself laying on the end of the bridge without hope, please let these words minister hope to you.  I’m going to ask the Holy Spirit right now to open your eyes and remove the blinders the enemy has placed upon you from your current suffering.  God let us see the full and glorious bridge you have built from end to end.  God let us stand back up and pull back our shoulders and let you take all those burdens off our shoulders.  Give us the strength to step out on faith where it looks like the bridge stops.  Just as soon as our foot comes down Father we thank you we will feel solid rock beneath us.  In the name of Jesus Christ, I ask this and thank you for it Lord.

As I bring this story to a close I want to share what I feel is the call to action for all of us as God’s children moving along in a broken world.  We don’t know where the wind comes from or where it goes and we cannot see it with our eyes.  In much the same way, we cannot see this bridge with our physical eyes but we do know that like the unseen wind it is there.  We have not yet seen the other side but we know where we are going.  Our goal is to keep the bridge in sight by not getting completely absorbed in our current struggle.  What we must do is press on even when the bridge appears to drop off into thin air.  We are guaranteed the bridge continues on.

It is not up to us to measure the success of crossing this bridge by achieving a certain number of years or specific accomplishment.  God has appointed unto every man a certain number of days and God has established and cemented our relationship with Him before the foundations of the world.  When God said “nothing can separate us” that is exactly what He meant and that is the reason the bridge will always reach from shore to shore for us who He has loved enough to call His precious children.

Thank you Lord hardly seems like enough but truly we thank and praise you for making a way for us where there was no way.  For building a bridge out of the body and blood of you only begotten Son that we could live in eternal joy with you and be joint Aires with Christ Jesus.  What a beautiful life story you have secured for each of us that is formed by your loving hands.  Nothing in this life can change your beautiful plan for us and we judge not glory of our ending on the temporal things of this world.  Our lives here are like a vapor.  Leading the best life we can is our goal, but our story has already been so beautifully secured by you precious Father.


I agree that working hard, taking care of things yourself; being accountable and living in the moment etc. are all great ideas and words to live by actually for me and everyone. I will say though after I’ve done all of those things there is still an empty space to be filled. It’s hard to deny that this empty space exists when you look around and see people going to desperate measures to fill it with; drugs, sex, cars, money etc. but still can’t find peace or true joy.
I can say that for myself I didn’t really ever feel complete until I met Christ and accepted Him as my Savior. If a person really is “complete as they are”, then perhaps not wanting or needing a Savior would make perfect sense. I have to say though I have not met one of those people yet in my 50+ years.
There is always going to be different ways to spin history, stories and facts to argue something’s existence or cast doubt on it. I would just challenge anyone with an open mind to at least give Jesus a try. I mean as humans wont we really try just about anything else to find peace and joy and wholeness?
Life is full of discoveries about ourselves. Even the most confident unbeliever may just find out they were never so happy to be wrong. And I would argue that sometimes “trusting as a child” doesn’t make you a weak-minded person, it can also mean you have the wisdom of innocence and a trusting heart.
Knock and the door will be opened to you, seek and you will find. This is a promise that I feel everyone deserves to explore for themselves and see what’s on the other side.
I appreciate anyone’s right to disagree with me but I probably won’t spend energy debating something that I know has worked for me… If someone chooses not to believe, I will admit I want to change their mind. It’s only because I want them to have joy and perfect peace (no other agenda whatsoever).
And lastly, I will never think I’m any better than someone who doesn’t believe, or that I am part of a moral majority or any of those condescending things. We are all on equal ground here just trying to find our way and do the best we can with what we’ve got.
I just know that if Jesus didn’t die for anyone else in the whole world, then he died for me, because I did need him so desperately.



So often it is a struggle to hold on to your faith when you cry out to God and it seems like He is a million miles away.

I have asked so many times – “God why are you silent when I need you the most? Why won’t you just show yourself to me God, or let me hear you speak to me?”

I once had a person reply to one of my posts by saying; “God is your imaginary friend”. I thought OUCH! But sometimes if I am being honest it can feel that way.

When you are clinging to a God that you can’t see or hear with your eyes and ears, it can sometimes feel like you are alone.

I suppose that down through history this is why men made false Gods. They wanted to have something tangible that they could see and touch.

It is easy to imagine how it would make us “feel better” if God were “tangibly” here for us to walk with. But God knew in His wisdom that would not be best.

I asked the Holy Spirit to reveal to me; “Why do you hide yourself from us”?

The first thing that He spoke to my spirit was; “You have to see ME with the spirit”.

I started to think on that; God is a Spirit, so it would make sense for us to see him with the same.

I also thought about how we rely so much on our five senses. We base everything off of what we can see, taste, feel, smell, our touch. Without that evidence then it doesn’t exist!

If you will indulge me, let me challenge that kind of thinking. This sells us short.

God made us so much more and so much deeper than “just the five senses”.

There was the most amazing sunset I saw just a few hours ago. The feeling I got while looking at those beautiful colors reminded me of years ago; I was walking beside the ocean on vacation, I was “by myself” and it was nighttime.

As I looked out over the deep dark waters and the endless sky, I could sense how small I was and I knew that I was not alone. I could sense something deeper “than me” was within me.

This was the first time I remember knowing there IS something beyond what my five senses are able to register.

I challenge you to go out “alone” on a walk in the woods, or watch a sunset, or gaze at the ocean, and tell me if you don’t also sense this something “deeper than you” inside yourself.

That something is the spirit, which God created inside of each one of us.

It’s odd how humans will stretch to believe so many things in this day and age, yet won’t make the short leap of faith to accept what they already know deep down inside is true.

We are all so much more than just our “FIVE SENSES” tell us we are.

We are body, soul, and spirit.

  • Your body is a “shell of clay”
  • Your soul is your breath life “God breathed into man and he became a living soul”
  • You spirit is your “inner man and connection to the one true God”

God’s word “promises” that if we will “seek Him will find Him”.

We have to seek and see Him by the spirit. We also worship and have a daily relationship with him “by the spirit”.

The Key to this spiritual connection is to confess Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior, and believe God raised Him from the dead. This invites His spirit to dwell within you. This begins the path to seeing Him.

This may be confusing to those who are just wanting to start this journey of “seeking and seeing God”. The question of HOW do I tap into my “spirit man” so that I can do this, is a good question.

There are a number of ways to discover and strengthen your “spirit man”.

1.) The reason we have God’s word is to feed our spirit.

2.) The reason we see God in nature is to heighten our spirits awareness of Him.

3.) The reason God lets us find Him in our suffering is so we “build up” our spirit by seeking Him to bring us out of trouble.

There are many ways that God has made available to feed and strengthen our sprit. The stronger our spirit gets the more we can open it to see Him.

Some who are reading this, have known what I’m saying here for a long time. Yet they still struggle to see and find God. To “see the King” we often forget we have to “seek Him”. It just occurred to me while writing this that the word “seeking” is (perhaps not by accident) comprised of two words “see ”&“King”.

We never “arrive” at a point in our walk with God that we “see Him” without seeking Him.

There are many verses in the Bible that talk about God hiding His face from man. In the book of Job, Job himself says;

  • “If only I knew where to find Him; if only I could go to his dwelling”
  • “But if I go to the east, he is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find him.”
  • “When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.”

But after Job says all that, then he says:

  • “But He knows the way that I take”.

So, we can be certain that God does, and always will know where we are and He always sees us. If He is this near us all the time then we don’t have to look far to find him.

If we will open up our “spiritual eyes” to see Him, he will let Himself be known! Even in the times when we doubt and struggle, God will meet us “more than half way”.

Perhaps not in the physical sense will he meet us, but He will always provide a deep communion within our spirit. So intimate that we will know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He surely lives inside us today!

God is smarter than we are. His thoughts and ways are so much better and higher than yours or mine.

If God had thought it would have been better to be visible, then He would have done that for us. This is not a game of “Hide and Seek” that God just enjoys playing for His amusement.

God knew that if we followed Him by “faith” believing what we are unable to see, this was the only way to give us a “true view of who He really is”.

Let’s think about this; a truly great teacher is the one that makes you feel like you figured it out on your own. They don’t show you the answer they let you work it and figure it out yourself. This is how you “really get it” and fully understand.

God is that kind of teacher.

We will only fully know and “See God”, if He lets us find Him through navigating this problematic life on earth full of its successes and failures.

Just imagine, if we went into work every day as saw God sitting at a desk. Then trusting Him would not involve a journey at all.

I’m not sure in this case that we would feel like there was much of a choice in the matter of a relationship with Him. It may feel like “Hmmm, I had better trust and obey Him because I’m face to face with Him tomorrow”.

God wants us to want Him “just for Him”!

Being with us “in Spirit” is the way God knew he needed to come to us. The only way we could develop a relationship that is based on free-will instead of fear or slavery.

God “our creator” is so magnificent that if we could see him with our physical eyes, we could not be able to process the glory, it would be too much.

It would be impossible to enter into the intimate relationship He desires if we were “all consumed” by His physical presence.

Trusting God in the hard times while not actually seeing Him takes some serious effort and faith. But this level of trust from us enables us to be stand on our own two feet and feel like we are part of developing the relationship together with Him.

Finding God and being able to “See Him” this way insures we are not coming to Him out of a sense of “obligation” or “fear”.

I would like to pray for you and I now;

Heavenly Father, help us to see you more clearly in the spirit. Let us walk with you in a very intimate relationship. Let us walk and talk with you in the spirit. As your Spirit dwells in us let us not only speak to you, but also hear you speak to our spirit. We thank you and ask this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.



If you are desperately seeking relief from the torcher of these diseases, I understand how horrible it is. How dark it is!

I love you, and I will pray for you!

I can make you one promise; That is God is stronger than your anxiety and depression.

God will come to your rescue and God will take care of you and turn your life around.

Did you ever think about the fact that God is willing to fight the depression and anxiety for you?

This disease is really “His” enemy not yours. God will “rise up” and fight them with you and for you.

You may have already realized you can’t do this on your own. Ask God to help you by His Holy Spirit to surrender the battle to Him.

He did it for me and He will do it for you. You can’t earn healing, and you don’t have to beg or bargain with God for it; it’s entirely a gift and you only have to receive it to have it.

No matter what you’ve done or where you’ve been, God is forgiving and loves you just the same. The enemy will try and convince you your worthless but that is the farthest thing from the truth. God sees great value in you, to Him you are priceless.

You may not have felt real happiness for so long that you’ve forgotten what it feels like. I have been right where you sit right now myself and I know your deep deep pain and suffering. But God brought me out of that hole.

God promised that He will turn your mourning into dancing. Oh yes, there is a much better time coming for you just hold on!

Jesus loves you and so do I.

You may not be able to see this now, but there is a much better life ahead that God has planned for you. You still have a future. Your suffering will come to an end.

Just keep reaching out to God for help and comfort, the best you can. God will always meet you more than halfway.

He is near to those who have a broken heart! So when you lay down in your bed tonight, He will be closer to you than your very breath, and will wrap His arms around you, as close as your own skin.

Rest in Him starting right now and receive His healing power. Let it flow through every nerve ending and fiber of your being in the name of Jesus Christ! I speak blessing on you now and that tomorrow starts a new victorious beginning for you in the name of Jesus Christ! You have suffered long enough!