For I do not call you servants I call you friends, for a servant does not know what the master is doing. John 15:15
In talking about friendships I find the subject to be very dicey My history in dealing with friendships has ben murky, or rattled with land mines to say the least. First of all, letting people get close has ben a risk that I have ben reluctant to take because of an experience I had years ago, as a teen ager
I had just come to know Jesus and a year and a half later, was finally able to find a church, and get involved with it. What was the problem? There was a friend I had made named Alason I saw in her at the time something I wanted, she was the rebelish sort of Christian, loved the metal seen, dressed it, and was completely sold out for Jesus. This came at a time when I wanted God, I hungered and thirsted for him, but I also needed the validation that my choice to follow him, was the right one, given I had not received this in my own family. What was the problem in this need?
I turned my need for reassurance on to this new found friend, instead of receiving my affirming for acceptance from Jesus himself. This had a horrific trickledown effect, ruining the relationship, and in the end I ended up having to leave the church youth group, because when God tried to remove her from my life for my own good, instead of letting him do his work, I clung on for dear life to my idol.
As a result, this was a witness against the God I claimed to served before my family, I spent years trying to figure out where I had screwed up, and have delt with the guilt of it for a very long time. This experience also two other nasty effects, that I still struggle with today.
First I am nervus to let anyone get close to me, and if they do, my question in the back of my mind, am I going to screw up where they have to leave, am I just toxic to friendships?
The second and perhaps the worst effect on this, is my understanding of a friendship with God Jesus says that he calls us a friend, not just a servent. My first reaction, Uh right I don’t know that I’m good at the friendship thing. I tend to screw those up so how, can I be a friend of God? What does that even look like?
The Lord has ben bringing this up in my life both through conversations and through books I am reading and podcasts.
The first thing I had to do is ask forgiveness for seeking validation in friendships with people, that can not offer that, when it is Jesus I needed to be turning to.
Second I needed to ask his help, and healing in this area I will not say that I am fully healed, but I can say that Jesus and I are working on it together.
I wrote that story to ask you this, what are you turning to, to seek reassurance? You may not be religious, you may not even believe in God, but you do turn to something, weather it be sports, food, drugs, sex, or some other addictions. Maybe, you are the sort of person who loves to game for hours on end, or maybe, you just want to party it up? The fact is that these things no matter what they are, will never fill you completely, and they will never take away that hunger you have for eternal things.
The Bible says that God has written eternity in to our hearts, and the only one, who will ever fill our deepest need is Jesus
And what is our deepest need? First and formost from the cure of Sin and death. He provides that at the cross, and by his raising from the dead on the third day
For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that who so ever believes in him will not parrish but have ever lasting life. John 3:16.
If you are a Christian, then I have a question for you, what are you turning to to fill you, instead of God? He says that he wants a relationship with you, he didn’t just come to die and raise from the dead, and then to leave us alone, he wants to walk with us. And as odd as it sounds, he says he wants to be our friend, and even our lover, for it says in the word that Jesus is the lover of our soul.
I will not write this, from a stand point of having things figured out, I have just reacently prayed that God would show me how to be his friend so trust me, this is a journey, but one I am willing to walk. How about you? Are you willing to examine the idles in your life, lay them down, and ask God to affirm you in those areas where you need healing in your life? I hope so, and I will be praying that you find what you need in him.
If you have any questions, or anything to add, please leave your thoughts in the comments
God bless, Teresa Blaes
