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Adventures in the hospital – Sleep is not an inside job!

Adventures in the hospital – Sleep is not an inside job!

waiting emoji

                             Sleep? I remember that.”

For the past year and a half, I have been planning on doing something to get rid of three bladder stones, which my urologist, Dr. Reddy discovered. While I was hoping for an outpatient procedure, that was not possible. I accepted that I was going to have to have them taken out at the hospital. That was okay. I could live with that.

My wife and I got to the hospital at 5:30 a.m. to check-in. That was awfully early, but I figured that I would come home after surgery and recovery. No big deal. Right? Wrong answer. When I came to, I was admitted for the night and my wife was waiting for me right there in the room. I was seriously out of it, but those bladder stones were gone. Mission accomplished. Now to just relax. Wrong answer!

During the day, there were not that many interruptions, at least as far as I remember. But at night … at night it was a different story. It took me the longest time to get to sleep that night, and Karen was trying to sleep as well in the pull-out chair that made a bed. I was hooked to an oxygen tube, an I.V. that beeped when it was low and was velcroed to the bed so I can have this wrap-around-my-legs attachment that massaged each leg during the night to maintain circulations. All that was inconvenient, but did not keep me from sleeping.

The first interruption was at [11:30]. “Knock. Knock. … change the bag; Knock. Knock. …  Here’s an antibiotic.” But the best one came at [1:30] and [4:30] in the morning. The nurse came in and said with great vigor, “I’m here to check your blood pressure.” Then she asked, “is there anything else you need?” I answered, “Yes. I need to sleep.” Her response was “I won’t bother you until three.” Fortunately, she waited until [4:30]. That was a crazy night which my loving, supportive wife and I will remember for a long time.

Well, all this adventure led to the following song which I entitled, “Are You Sleeping? – Hospital Edition.” It is to the tune, “Are You Sleeping”

                        Are You Sleeping? – Hospital Edition

Verse 1
“Beep. Drip. Knock. Knock. Beep. Drip. Knock. Knock. All night long. All night long. How am I supposed to sleep here? How am I supposed to sleep here? Ain’t no way. Ain’t no way.

Chorus:
Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping? Brother John? Brother John? How can I be sleeping, with this infernal beeping? Go away. Go away.”

Bridge:
I had me a little surgery, to fix what was wrong inside of me. They put me in a room, now my sleep was doomed. Some day I’ll sleep again.

Vs. 2
Are you awake? Are you awake? Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Some day I’ll be sleeping, after this infernal beeping. Not today. Not today.

Chorus:
Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping? Brother John? Brother John? How can I be sleeping, with this infernal beeping? Go away. Go away.”

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